Medicos are fond of acronyms and mnemonics. This starts in their college days in an effort to remember the names of myriad nerves and blood vessels and carries on through their medical practice.
One popular mnemonic to remember the 12 cranial nerves ..
Ooh, Ooh, Ooh, to touch and feel very good velvet. Such heaven!
There are more explicit versions for this. I didn’t make them up. Ask Google!
The term DABDA was coined by Dr Elizabeth Kubler Ross to study how people cope up with approaching death.
She divided the process into five distinct stages , Denial , Anger, Bargain, Depression and Acceptance.
Later, psychologists have found that these stages apply to almost any problem faced by a human being. The trigger could be a bank statement showing low balance or your child’s mark-sheet showing poor performance. Or it could be lab report showing high sugar-levels. I can’t count the number of times I have blamed my (blood pressure)BP instrument for showing high BP. This attitude only resulted in the BP shooting further up.
The first reaction is invariably denial. Some people would rush to the banker or the teacher that there was something wrong with the report ; some serious error in arithmetic, may be.
Once it is seen that there is nothing wrong with the calculations, the next stage starts. There is anger ; anger at anybody who could be blamed. If it is about the child’s report card, the parents may blame each other, the teacher, the noisy neighborhood or even Mark Zuckerberg for the effect of Instagram on children.
The third stage is bargain. One is prepared to negotiate with rewards and punishments.
The fourth stage is depression. When it dawns on the person that the problem was there and one has to confront it.
The final stage is acceptance , one that brings calmness. Then one does what can be done to alleviate the problem and accepts that which cannot be altered.
Over the years , I have seen this process playing out in myself and in others over many issues.
Here’s a recent happening that made me recall DABDA .
Observing an overflow of a sewage tank onto the road, I brought it to the notice of the concerned housing society.
The first reaction was that it was just rain water and was not sewage water at all.
Subsequently, everyone was blamed for various acts of commissions and omissions that resulted in damage to their well laid out overflow pipe line. If it was just rain water flowing on the street, why bring in the issue of damage to overflow pipe?
These stages often overlap. Even while hovering between denial and anger the third stage also kicked in. We’ll pump out the water but you make your drains. This was followed by some ugly veiled threats that the road itself could be blocked .
Why do I analyse? The problem does not go away by mere analysis, but understanding helps calm the mind.
Whatever be, the first step to solving any problem is acceptance that there was a problem and that noone else but you could solve it.
Thathasthu.
So true Murali! DABDA iterates in all our dealings…. The example of the sewage overflow is most apt!
Tongue in cheek humour, your blogs carry meaningful messages
Murali ..
You are truly creative. Nobody else can connect death and sewage overflow.
This is creative overflow!
Keep up your good writing work.
Best wishes.
Problem is a problem is a problem, in life (as well as in maths 😉 ) Human beings respond in a similar form. Hope the creative overflow doesn’t stink. 🙂
Stink or not but it could spread…
Interesting musings. Keep them coming!
Abs true! Most people go through these stages in dealing with old age and reducing DLTGH too!
(Days Left To Go ‘Home’, to the uninitiated.)
Unpleasantness is a facet that most human beings aver from, mostly.
I step slightly away from your theme to make a small point. An accident happens – now some normal reactions: 1. ignore, someone will call for an ambulance. 2. take out mobile phones come out to make a video. 3. some one actually goes to the victim(s) to help and call for help.
The digression was to differentiate: 1. If it happens to you, DABDA steps in. 2. Happens to someone else, any of the above.
Also, DABDA application is also age related, the younger you are, the more the ‘high’ from it. The older you are, acceptance and move on is more the norm!
Ash, as I understand, it’s more like test cricket situation rather than 20-20 last over reaction. More to do with courage than bravery and wisdom rather than knowledge. As always, I might add, that’s my understanding today and I could be wrong.
So true, Murali: can relate to DABDA even today …and Ash says, yes, it does reduce, as we enter our sixties!
Well written: such an important, all-encompassing aspect of life!
Wonderful Murli.
Health professionals job is to open blocked openings as well stop dribbling from various human openings hence your flight from Medical to Sewage is very well accepted. In Medical, Acronyms and mnemonics are creation of Teachers and student at local level that too in regional terminology even, to memorize complicated anatomical structures e.g. small bones of hand and foot, cranial nerves exiting from base of skull, arteries nerves veins course and relation. DABDA is Human’s psychological response to any unpleasant situation or outcome or happening which was not forseen. Ultimately acceptance is the solution. Let’s straightway move from denial to acceptance, why to waste our precious health and time juggling in Anger-Bargain-Depression.