Different Drums

 

 

Dr M Scott Peck has many bestsellers beginning with “The Road Less Traveled” and two others with similar titles. “Beyond Road Less Traveled’ and ‘Further Along Road Less Traveled’. For a full list of his books see here.

an earlier post on a book by Dr Peck . here

His books traverses though fields far beyond psychiatry and goes deep into mysticism and philosophy. He has also done some pioneering work in Community Building. His ideas and experiences in this field are covered in his “Different Drums”.

Dr Peck says, It is community building that would save the world. The world today is getting more and more pluralistic and differences are getting sharper by day, there is an effort to make people think and behave in a uniform manner. This is not going to work. The idea is to accept the differences and may be even celebrate them. This is not something new in India, but where we go wrong is in being very selective about accepting the differences or weird behaviour. A naga sadhu is considered too weird, which he is, while whole communities taking over a public road to pray, which is as weird , is not considered so. Probably, the only criteria to accept weirdness should be “does this behaviour threaten or inconvenience other citizens ?” If so , it cannot be accepted .

The approach to community building is designed to work for the smallest community, ie a nuclear family and also the largest community that we know today, the global community.

As long as one doesn’t threaten or inconvenience others, all ideas, clothing ,or lack of it, behaviour and life style should be perfectly okay.

The book is organized into seventeen chapters in three parts. The first part talks of characteristics of a community and problems in community building. The second part is aptly The ‘bridge’. It dwells on the human nature on dealing with situations. and Part III suggests solutions. In a book of this nature, it is better to go directly into the source before trying to explain.

Here are some excerpts from the book. These excerpts are from my highlights while reading the book. These are given as block quotes , while my own annotations are in red italics.

……..Secure though it was, my home was not a place where it was safe for me to be anxious, afraid, depressed, or dependent— to be myself……

At some place the author claims , the entire aim of evolution of an individual is to be himself or herself.

 

As it happens a child is exactly that. That is one reason Indian Philosophers have suggested “be child like”

Chapter III: The True Meaning of Community > Page 61

Community is and must be inclusive. The great enemy of community is exclusivity. Groups that exclude others because they are poor or doubters or divorced or sinners or of some different race or nationality are not communities; they are cliques— actually defensive bastions against community.

Chapter III: The True Meaning of Community > Page 61 There was no pressure to conform.

Chapter III: The True Meaning of Community > Page 62 Our individualism must be counterbalanced by commitment.

Chapter III: The True Meaning of Community > Page 65 Begin to appreciate each others’ gifts, and you begin to appreciate your own limitations.

Chapter III: The True Meaning of Community > Page 65 : a group of people do these things— as they become a community— they become more and more humble, not only as individuals but also as a group— and hence more realistic. From which kind of group would you expect a wise, realistic decision: an arrogant one, or a humble one?

 Chapter III: The True Meaning of Community > Page 67 : Once a group has achieved community, the single most common thing members express is: “I feel safe here.”

 Chapter III: The True Meaning of Community > Page 67 : everyone enters a new group situation with his or her guard up.

Chapter III gives the characteristics of a community; inclusive, non-judgmental and non threatening. The corollary is that once you feel you ‘belong’, the guard is down.

Chapter III: The True Meaning of Community > Page 68
health and wholeness and holiness. (All three words are derived from the same root.)
 Chapter III: The True Meaning of Community > Page 68
When we are safe, there is a natural tendency for us to heal and convert ourselves.
Chapter III: The True Meaning of Community > Page 68
So they focus not so much on healing as on making their relationship a safe place where the patient is likely to heal himself.
 Chapter III: The True Meaning of Community > Page 68
are free to discard defenses, masks, disguises; free to seek your own psychological and spiritual health; free to become your whole and holy self. A LABORATORY FOR PERSONAL DISARMAMENT

In a community as visualized in this book, there is absolutely no effort to heal or convert. Normally when we are tolerant and sympathetic to someone having different views, there is an underlying assumption that the other person is sick and needs to be healed.

Dr Peck lays great importance to vulnerability. A child does not hide its vulnerability to her mother, though among playmates there may be an air of arrogance or bravado. Dr Peck goes to the extent of suggesting that for two nations to reconcile their differences they need to expose their weakness rather than arm themselves literally and figuratively. I am sure when people or close enough to one another they are not really looking to project their best appearance or behaviour. That is when one really feels at home, irrespective of the place be it an office, restaurant or a Temple. Today, one may include a social media group also. Are you part of the group to sermonize or seek information or just to be yourself and enjoy the warmth of the real community on a virtual platform.

Chapter III: The True Meaning of Community > Page 74
even the agnostic and atheist members will generally report a community- building workshop as a spiritual experience.

One area where there are profound differences is Religious beliefs. Replacing religious ‘isms’ with spiritualism helps. Though many people don’t believe in spirit either , most people have experienced ‘out of the world’ feelings for which they are at loss to give a label.

Chapter IV: The Genesis of Community > Page 79
But I am reminded of the Chinese word for crisis, which consists of two characters: one represents “danger” and the other “hidden opportunity.

Interesting take on the word “crisis’

The author warns of pseudo community where everyone is polite to each other but the warmth would be missing. In a true community , there would be differences, there would be conflicts, every member may be becoming more and more of himself or herself, yet there would be not tolerance but acceptance of the individuality of others. There would be no conformity to generally accepted ideas , yet the conflicts would cease to be.

It is tempting to go into the complete book, which besides being a boring sermon may impinge on the Intellectual Property rights. I have uploaded my notes on the book in pdf form on my website , more for my reference than to be part of this post. I wind up with one final excerpt from Chapter IX. Dr Peck has categorized the evolution of individuals into four stages, based on his own experience.

Chapter IX: Patterns of Transformation > Page 188
Again it didn’t compute— until I realized that we are not all in the same place spiritually. With that realization came another: there is a pattern of progression through identifiable stages in human spiritual life. I myself have passed through them in my own spiritual journey. But here I will talk about those stages only in general, for individuals are unique and do not always fit neatly into any psychological or spiritual pigeonhole. With that caveat, let me list my own understanding of these stages and the names I have chosen to give them: STAGE I: Chaotic, antisocial STAGE II: Formal, institutional STAGE III: Skeptic, individual STAGE IV: Mystic, communal

 

Stage I is “who says”. There is disorder. One questions everything, every rule, every tradition or convention.

 

Stage II One is reconciled to following some rules imposed by an institution; may be a family, religious order, army . There is a need here for rigid beliefs to sustain the accepted behaviour.

 

Stage III One becomes skeptical about religion, and rules imposed by institutions, but acceptable behaviour holds.

 

Stage IV It is all mysticism and communal .Incidentally, ‘communal’ is not at all a bad word in this book. One is comfortable with God, religion, yours and others. One willingly works for the community without any induced incentives or threats.

Just as with any views, one may or may not agree with Dr Peck. But reaching the Stage IV for individuals as defined by the author appears to be a desirable goal. If nations follow this approach to community building, there would be no Wars of yesteryears or conflicts as they call it today.

Thathastu.

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